Apples and disgusting oranges

So, what is happening right now in this country is a good thing. We are finally ridding the workplace of men who use their positions to do things to women that are very wrong.
These predators, like H. Weinstein and K. Spacey, need to be held accountable and suffer the consequences of their lascivious actions, finally.
There is only one problem. This has not been an orderly round-up. This started out with one man, who finally pushed one too many times. I mean Bill Cosby. Way back when he was accused of misconduct, there was the "shock and awe" effect. No one could believe this was happening at all, and to a beloved institution, at that. But as it is at a junior high school dance, once one brave soul puts their foot out and steps up, others will follow and before you know it, you have a dance.
Well, it took some time for that to happen, but finally others have decided they are ready to dance. The only problem is, it has turned from a dance to a rave that is out of control. Everyone wants to be a big part of the "me too" movement, to tell a story of sexual abuse towards them, to be able to fully participate in the biggest upheaval in societal norms since women got the vote.
Now, every man who has ever made a misstep with a woman is under the microscope.
It's like when Women's Lib was at it's most radical. All men became terrified to open a door, pull out a chair, bring flowers or even compliment a woman, lest they be crucified for disrespect.
It became, because of some pretty rabid individuals who I suspect just hated men in general, a witch hunt. The same thing is happening now.
There are degrees to everything, even murder. So comparing an idiot with poor judgment, like Al Franken, to a predator like Weinstein or Spacey, is just not right.
I saw the picture of Sen. Franken and the sleeping model. He doesn't even appear to actually touch her. Was it a really stupid and juvenile thing to do? You bet. Was it predatory or harmful? noooo. She was asleep, she was not touched or harmed in any way. There is nothing for HER to be embarassed aboout. No reason it should bring any shame to anyone but him. And yet, he was hunted down and punished with the same righteous vigor as Weinstein. Now every man who has ever said anything inappropriate is in danger. And notice I said 'said anything". At this point, every woman in the country is scouring her past for ANY example of misdeed or word.
Thing is, in general, men tend to be inappropriate. Now before you send out a lynch mob for me...I am not talking about any man that gropes a woman dispite having been told no, or uses his position to coerce a woman into actions she does not want to do. I'm talking about the poor souls who truly suck at reading signals, and mistakenly try to get something going with the object of their affection. This is called "making a pass", not molestation. Just like in football, the object of the game is to score points, whether that be winning fair maidens heart, or just winning her for the night. Sometimes the pass succeeds, and there is a touchdown, sometimes there is a fumble or a flag on the play, but it is normal stuff, not the stufff of what is happening now.. 
Ladies, I am all for bringing down all the power mad predators that hunt in the workplace for victims. I think it is finally time to put a stop to all that. All I am saying is, before you burn  someone at the stake, because this is a bell you cannot un-ring,  just make sure this was an abuse of power or position and not just some adolescent schmuck, acting the fool, thinking he's smooth and trying to get over with no actual harmful intentions.

Just sayin'
Dragonfly Davis

All Purpose Phrases

So I have acquired a great little part-time job for myself. 
A few months ago, I started playing this very addictive online game called Township. Seriously, don't even check it out unless you are prepared to dedicate some serious time to it. Anyway, at one point, you have the opportunity to join a co-op, to exchange goods and to take part in regattas. I ended up in this international co-op that has Russians, Germans, English, people from Barbados, the UAE, India and Asia. We are a veritable United Nations, but get along much better and are totally co-operative, despite the language barriers. This is due, in great part to the founder of the co-op, who is a teacher in Russia, teaching  English as a second language.
 We have become very good friends, and she asked me a couple weeks ago if  I would be interested in speaking to one of her classes once a week. Well,, public speaking is one of my least favorite things, but the idea of speaking with some regular Russian citizens was just so interesting and enticing that I could not refuse or resist. So we talk about different things, They want to be exposed to how Americans really talk, as opposed to what out-dated text books tell them.
Today, one of the questions they had was to learn what the most common and popular curse words are.  So I rattled off the most common in my personal repertoire, which was pretty colorful, but as is so often the case, I come up with my best responses retroactive to the conversation. I was sitting here and realized I had neglected to mention possibly the most ubiquitous phrase used today....the all-purpose phrase 'what the fuck". There are very few instances that this phrase, or, in a pinch, abbreviation, wtf, cannot be applied. It can be an inquiry, an exclamation of surprise, disgust, anger, glee, shock, outrage, confusion or just plain exhaustion. I wish this blog came with an audio application so I could demonstrate all these examples for the class.. You can even embellish this phrase by adding a modifier, such as "what the absolute fuck". The other phrase I use constantly is "OH MY GOD" or omg in Facebook lingo. This can also be elevated with adverbs such as 'Oh my fucking God" for particularly heinous and/or surprising occasions. 
So, there you are, dear class. These are the best I have to offer. Sorry I had brain freeze earlier. To everyone else...OMG, I know this isn't about anything relevant today, but WTF...sometimes I just want to be amusing, okay?

Just sayin'
Dragonfly Davis

Cultural appropriation...is it a real thing?

Good grief, just when I think racism couldn't get any more ridiculous...

Some people, it seems, will do just about anything to keep other cultures at bay, even taking the stance that embracing them is in and of itself, racist.

Now, I am not talking about insulting caricature here, where someone appears in, say, blackface and portrays African-Americans in a less than flattering light. No, I am talking about admiring a culture and embracing things about it. There is a post about a little white girl who has a traditional Japanese tea party for her little friends in geisha girl make-up and kimono. People are outraged. And not about what you would think. They are upset because they feel she is appropriating the culture, which is patently absurd. That would, by definition, mean she is literally stealing Japans culture from them, without their permission. This has become an unbelievably out-of-proportion trend. Some people think that white women are appropriating African-American womens hair styles. Uh, excuse me, but does anyone have a patent on hairstyles? African-American women have been straightening their hair for decades. Does that mean they are appropriating 'good hair"?

This would mean, if taken seriously, that we will have to shut down every Mexican, Italian, Chinese, Japanese, Ethiopian, Vietnamese, etc., restaurant in  Amerca then...and I'm sorry, I'm  not giving up Taco Bell for anyone.

Neither am I prepared to give up karaoke, mahjohng, accupuncture/accupressure, pretzels, beer, whiskey, tequila, horses, 

French kissing, golf, karate, flip-flops, duvets, 

Swedish massages, Irish lace and linen, Turkish towels, Cuban cigars, 

French horns, Mariachi bands, Focattchia bread...etc, ad infinitum. for anyone. I think the best thing that could happen to this planet would be the total immersion/blending of all cultures together and all things become just simply human culture.

If I were an alien, visiting this planet, I think I would be very confused about everyone insisting Their culture is the best, None is the best, they are all just different, period.

And these new Debbie Downers are disguising their racist hearts that are terrified not of other cultures being "appropriated", but of their own disappearing. I say to them, please unclench. Embrace universal unity and sharing, would you?

oh yeah..and bagels, not giving up bagels.

Just for Heavens sake sayin,

Dragonfly Davis

Mental health 101...next chapter

So, I am sort of an involuntary gambler. Every day, this 'roulette/chore wheel' gets spun, and that is my day. Some days, it gets spun multiple times....
If you can relate, let me know. And as always, feel free to share.

So..
Depression-relentless sadness for no particular reason.
Makes leaving the house pretty difficult.

Anxiety-relentless, unreasonable, overwhelming fear for no particular reason, or out of proportion to a situation.
Again, going out is a challenge.

Mania- unreasonable anger and impatience towards everyone ans everything.
Makes any social interactions, and driving, very "interesting' experiences.

Panic- unreasonable fears about pretty much any/everything.
Everything except breathing is tough until it passes.

Hypomania-the only truly positive thing on the wheel...unreasonable happiness and positivity totally out of proportion to reality.
I am very social, extremely creative, but things like retail therapy become a problem.

Hypersexuality- out of control sexual thoughts and urges.
Self-explanatory.

OCD- unreasonable expectations about pretty much everything.
But my house is VERY neat.

So...that's MY daily roulette/chore wheel...can't wait to see what the arrow points to today

Philosophy 101

I was reading one of my old Dean Koontz  novels and ran into this very simple, yet compelling philosophy of  how to live your life. I want to  share it with you. Hopefully, Mr. Koontz won't mind...

Is this really a wise strategy for living? Insisting that most of life isn't to be taken seriously. Relentlessly viewing it as a cosmic joke. Having only four guiding principles; one, do as little harm to others as possible; two, be there always for your friends; three, be responsible for yourself  and ask nothing of others; four, grab all the fun you can. Put no stock in the opinions of anyone but those closest to you.  Forget about leaving a  mark on the world.  Ignore the great issues of your time and  thereby improve your digestion.   Don't dwell in the past.  Don't worry about the future.  Live in the moment.  Trust in the purpose of your existence and let meaning come to you instead of straining  to discover it.  When life throws a hard punch, roll with it-but roll with laughter...
Catch the wave, dude.
Sounds too easy, and when it comes to life, do we ever do anything easy, or do we usually insist on swimming upstream like salmon, struggling all the way?
Class dismissed
Just sayin'
Dragonfy Davis

One final thought...I swear on all that is holy.

And by all things holy, I of course mean tequila and dogs.

I am sick to death with the sexual harrassment thing. I realize it is real,  and needs to be dealt with, but I think I personally have dealt with it enough, except for this little observation...

We have this whole thing backwards, as we often do with things. See, in general, women don't like being sexually harrassed, but usually are. Conversely, most men would pay money to be sexually harrassed, but generally are not. 

There are, however, some glaring exceptions, and I personally am sort of embarrassed about it.

Some famous women seem to be spending an inordinate amount of time with their hands all over hapless men. It doesn't seem the men have a problem with this, but perhaps they are putting on a brave face for the sake of continued employment, like so many of these women say they had to do.  Two of the women in question are Heidi  Klum and Tyra Banks. These two women are constantly putting their hands all over guys. I watch Entertainment Tonight, and the young, African-American reporter regularly interviews these two on the red carpet events, and they positively molest this poor kid. If a man did to them what they do to this guy, and others, omg...heads would roll.

The other woman "offender", surprisingly, is Ellen Degeneres. She is constantly featuring shirtles men on her show, and "inappropriately" touches most of them, as well as many male guests. She is often trying to talk the best looking of her guests to take their shirts off for one ridiculous reason or another, and regularly had male exotic dancers on. Now as a healthy woman,, I enjoy a half naked man as much as the next woman, but again, if a guy was doing this on his show..the outcry would be loud and outraged. I love Ellen, truly, but what  is the end game here, the purpose?

Because I feel there is one.

Bottom line is this...Double standard, ladies? Is that the message you want to telegraph?

Just sayin'

Dragonfly Davis

Okay girls, work with me..

I am hoping that this post gets it all out of my system and I can move on to another topic. Thing is, this just doesn't seem to want to stop.
I am talking about all these men finally getting outed for the pervs they are. The thing is, I think it has gone a little too far.
We started out with genuine pigs like  Harvey Weinstein and Kevin Spacey, okay? All good. But now it seems that every guy who has ever made a pass at a woman is being taken to task.
Here's the thing...I am NOT saying anyone deserves to be groped or subjected to any  unwarranted deviant behavior, but some of these women could have easily avoided these events altogether.  Even in Harvey's  case, when a guy wants to give you a "private tour" or asks you to meet at his hotel...could you use a little common sense, ladies? No one is that naive. If you are willing to co-op yourself just to get a part, if you really think that is something necessary, then don't cry about it later. You are complicit in this dance. These men get away with this stuff because no one says anything, they "go along to get along". 
Look, men are not that clever or complicated. There are some men that will always try to get away with crap like this, they push boundaries constantly. To one extent or another, they all try to get over on us. If they didn't, the human race would have died out long ago. Usually, it is a pretty innocent attempt at a kiss or something, but some men just have no idea where, if anywhere, the line is drawn. But like I said, their machinations are not that complicated or difficult to see coming a mile away. I'm not talking the violent types that ambush, rape and assault strangers here. Just the men you work with and around and find in social situations. It's not that hard to avoid these situations. Just a modicum of common sense and a little healthy self-respect. The only reason these long time, career perverts exist is because we allow it. This need not be the case.

Just sayin'
Dragonfly Davis